Thursday, 24 August 2017

Weeding the Closet - Bagging up the "Fat Clothes"

Weeding the Closet - Bagging up the "Fat Clothes"

Actually, I was bagging up clothes in two categories. Some clothes were removed because they are way too big on me. Some were favorites - Disney tees, etc. - but they swim, so into the bag they go. The other category of clothes to remove is sleeveless and short-sleeved tops. Unfortunately, a combination of rapid weight loss AND minimal arm muscles means the upper half of my arms are really unattractive. I'm hoping that either 1) excess skin disappears over time (does that even happen?) and/or 2) I'll be motivated to use those weights sitting on my bedroom dresser to get my upper arms in shape. But in the meantime, they are not fit for public viewing, sadly.

The bag is huge and the question is then begged - what to do with all the clothes? There's the "throw them out and never go back" philosophy which is admirable. Then there's the "hedge your bets and store them somewhere" cowardly custard approach. I confess I'm keeping them. I like the clothes, and the pile represents a significant amount of money. Do I ever want to wear them again? NO I DO NOT! I plan to stay the size I'm at for the rest of my life, and never need to open that bag. But, I still can't get rid of them.

Part of it is that though I think I'm pretty good at losing weight - the excitement of the scale going down, the satisfaction of reaching a goal - I know that maintenance is a lot less exciting. And I'm not convinced that underlying food issues have gone away. I still like to eat, eat things that aren't particularly healthy (pizza, marshmallows, margaritas, rich Thai food, etc.), and don't do very well when feeling deprived.

I know the tools to maintain - logging, exercise, mindful eating, daily or frequent weighing, a mindset that considers healthy food and healthy portions to be good for my body. And also not considering certain food completely off limits. But old habits die hard. I'm not making excuses or trying to pave the way for gaining weight. I really really really do not want to gain weight back and will try my hardest to keep that from happening. I'm counting on never needing to open that bag again. But it's still going to be somewhere out in the dusty garage, probably providing mice and black widow spiders a place to nest. Off limits, but still not gone forever. Right or wrong, that's what I'm doing for now. Maybe someday I'll donate them, but not quite yet...


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